Report on My Interviews

In this post I will discuss more about the genres my teachers and I talked about.

1)  What are the most significant or interesting genres that you learned about from your interviewees? Please identify at least THREE specific genres from your discipline/field of study that your interview subjects discussed writing within.

• The most significant genres that we discussed were dance book publications (specifically Mr. C's), resumes,  Laban notation, and choreography (including mime/Delsarte)

2)  How do these genres differ from one another? Think about things like genre convention, content, purpose, audience, message, and context as you describe these differences.

• Dance books and resumes differ from Laban notation and choreography because they involve actual written text.  Laban notation relies more on symbols, and choreography is an unwritten form of communication.  The purpose of the books usually is to educate an audience on dance, or a dancers life using in depth information, while a resume gives abbreviated information to inform an audience (audience is typically potential employers).  Laban notation is to inform dancers and choreographers by keeping record of dance choreography.  Choreography itself is all over the board.  The audience is usually kept fairly general, and the purpose is typically to entertain and employ some sort of pathos; although certain pieces employ logos as well.  

3)  Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is challenging and/or difficult about writing within these genres (from a professional's point of view)?

• Book publications:  For writing the history book, Mr. C found that the most challenging part was deciding how specific or how non-specific he should be with the content.

• Resumes:  One challenging part is including everything that you need while still keeping formatting clean and easily readable. 

• Laban notation:  Since neither teacher has much, if any, experience recording Laban notation, they say that the most difficult part of it is actually interpreting it.  Michael said that although it is create for general movements, it often times can not capture all of the fine details of the choreography.

• Choreography: Working with a time frame is can be challenging for Mr. C.  If one dancer is not as invested one day, it can be difficult for the director because everyone is not as engaged.  For Michael specifically, his most challenging part is coming to the studio with an idea everyday.

4)  Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is exciting and/or rewarding about writing within these genres (from a professional's point of view)?

• Book publications: I think the exciting part for Mr. C was that he was able to fill a blank space that was in the curriculum here at U of A.

• Resumes: The rewarding thing about writing a resume is if it helps actually get you a job.  It is also exciting because you are able to show off your best experience and the most appealing way possible.

• Laban notation: None of the information was really applicable to this.  I guess the exciting thing at the time was that you could actually record the choreography.  Before that, you had to have someone memorizing the whole piece, and then parts would change.

• Choreography: Creating something pleasing for an audience.  Having the satisfaction of having parts look exactly the way you want them, and to represent the music excellently.

5)  Where in mass media - popular, academic, and/or social - can examples of this genre be found? If genre examples cannot be found within mass media easily, where can genre examples be found/located?

• I can actually locate dance resumes from many of my dance peers here at the University of Arizona Dance School, since they have taken Michael's class.

• Laban notation examples can easily be accessed online.

• Choreography can easily be found on Youtube and Vimeo.

Graedon, Terry "Untitled" 3/7/2011 via. peoplespharmacy.com. Pubic Domain

• The book publications can be found in the library; however, I can not access them on the computer.  I have Mr. C's book, and although I do not have the two other dance books right now, I have read them before.  Do I film the books, or can I just discuss what rhetorical strategies they use and show a picture of the cover?

From Academic to Social Media

 Now I will investigate one of the authors from the academic journal...

1)What is the name of the author (from the academic journal) that you selected and which social media networks were you able to find her/him on?

• The author I chose to investigate is Amy Brandt.  I was able to find her on Facebook.

"Web Exclusive-Ask Amy" via dancemedia.com. Public Domain

2)  How would you describe the author's social media presence? What kinds of things are they talking about or sharing on social media? Write a brief description of what you learned about them through the listed social media feeds.

• Well, I could only find her on Facebook and her account is private, so I couldn't really find anything.  There were a couple videos of her dancing on Youtube, but they were not her channels.  She was mention on the social media sites         (word press, twitter) of dance schools as a visiting teacher.  Obviously she is still involved in the world of dance, but is no longer dancing professionally anymore.  Instead she is taking time to teach and further the lives of young dancers.

3)  Now return to the piece that this author published in the academic journal (from Blog Posts 6.5 & 6.6). How does their persona on social media differ from their persona in the pages of the academic journal? Be specific and cite details from both the journal and the social media posts you discovered.

•  Since I couldn't get a good feel for her persona on social media, I will just describe her persona in the article.
• Her persona seems caring and she appears very knowledgeable.  She also seems to care about giving the best advice possible because she will call on the advice of other professionals in different areas, physical therapy and psychology/psychiatry.

Academic Discourse & Genre

Now I will delve deeper into this journal...

1)  How many different kinds of genres seem to be published in this particular issue of the journal you selected? (Remember, genres are usually identifiable by their form, content, techniques and/or social function.)

•  There are 11 different kinds of articles in this particular magazine publication

2)  If you don't know the 'official' names for these different genres, come up with names for the yourself. Identify at least three different genres within the journal issue and describe the significant formal differences between the three genres (that is, what are the key differences or characteristics that seem to be unique and distinguish them from other kinds of texts?). If you made up your own name, explain why you chose the name you invented. If you'd like, provide snapshots of the different genres (clearly labelled) to help your reader see how they look different (or are organized differently, with different conventions) on the page.

• Call Board
• Studio to Street
• Dancer Spotlight
• Ask Amy
• Main Cover Article
• Personal Experience Column
• Injury Prevention/Your Best Body 
• Your Training
• Director's Notes
• Company Life
• Reverence
• Call Board is a short two page spread that features 1 paragraph snippets that each focus on different shows, companies, or collaborations that occurring in the dance world. It's like a short quick reference guide. ;)

• Ask Amy is an advice column where readers submit their question to the magazine and a designated writer, in this case Amy Brandt, answers their questions to the best of her ability given her experience.  Often times she will consult other specialists if her knowledge does not cover the given topic all the way.

• Reverence is a feature of the magazine that always comes at the very end (so hence "reverence") and focuses on one particular dancer.  In it they answer questions about their careers and even a couple of silly questions just for fun.

3)  Now come up with your own definition for each genre (using the name you coined, if you weren't sure what the 'official' name is for the genre). Be sure to explain what you perceive to be the purpose of each genre and how each genre might meet the needs and expectations of a target audience.

• Call Board--keep the audience informed, in an abbreviated form, of the happenings of dance.
• Studio to Street--style section
• Dancer Spotlight--featured dancer.  Talks about performances and their success in the company.
• Ask Amy--advice column.
• Main Cover Article-- goes in depth on a particular dancer and what they are doing, how they have achieved their success in whatever they are doing.
• Personal Experience Column-- different dancers just giving personal advice on a specific topic that the magazine has chosen.
• Injury Prevention/Your Best Body-- talks about injuries that dancers often face and what exercises and measures you can take to prevent them. 
• Your Training-- talks about what kind of dance training you have and how you can make the most of it.  (This is not in every article)
• Director's Notes-- Interviews a specific artistic director of a company.
• Company Life-- dancers talk about a typical day in their life in a company and their performance schedules.
• Reverence-- focuses on a specific dancer.  The dancer answers a series of questions about their career (and a couple of silly questions) that the magazine producers have thought up.

"Pointe Magazine" via magazine-subscriptions.com. Public Domain

Rhetorical Analysis of Academic Journal

In this post I will invesitigate one of the academic journals of my area, Pointe Magazine.

1)Who are the authors/speakers published in this specific issue of the academic journal you've selected? How many different authors are published here? What do you know - or can you find out - about these people? How are the authors/speakers portrayed in the journal issue? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

• Nicole Loeffler-Gladstone:
• Candice Thompson
• Suzannah Friscia
• Carrie Seidman
• Amy Brandt
• Gavin Larson
• Wendy Perron

These authors are all past and/or present dancers or people who work as physical therapists, usually for dancers or athletes specifically.  Each author isn't really talking about their research or own experience, but are typically discussing what companies or specific dancers are doing.  So they are mostly resented as knowledgeable and up-to-date reporters who have had years of experience in their respected fields.

2)  Who is the intended audience for this particular journal issue? How can you tell? Are there any secondary audiences included here? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

• The publication is geared towards dancers, both younger and older.  Often time the authors will use words like "you" or "we dancers" to include the audience in the category of "dancer".  

3)  What is the context surrounding this particular journal issue? How does this affect the content of the journal? (See the bulleted questions on Student's Guide page 180 for specific questions about context). Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

• In this particular article, the main article is discussing the content of the new series "Flesh and Bone" that features dancers.  The context is the series itself and how it portrays the ballet world. Most feel that is much more representative than "Black Swan" was.

4)  What is the overall message of the journal issue? How did you decide this? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

• This journal provides a great variety of stories, so an overall message doesn't really apply.  It depends on what story/ article you read.  For instance in the so called wellness section, you might take away that you need to vary your stretching to something that is less static, as to reduce muscle tears.

5)  What purpose is the journal issue trying to achieve? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers.

• The main purpose of this journal is to focus on what is happening in the world of ballet.  This includes performances, dancers, media events, and even tips for improving the health of a dancer's body.

**Publish date is in lower right hand corner above the bar code. Also, pardon the stage makeup.

Harrington, Michaela "This Photo Idea is Ridiculous" via Michaela's iPhone. Public Domain

My Discipline

Below I will further discuss one of the disciplines of which I will be working in, which is dance.

1)  What do students in your program or department learn how to do?

• In our department student learn how to be the cleanest and most diverse dancers possible.  Not only do we take daily dance classes in numerous styles (ballet, modern, jazz, and tap), but we also have music classes, dance history classes, and classes that focus on careers in dance and how to prepare for a professional dance environment.  

2)  What do people who get degrees in this field usually go on to do for work? 

• Most often people with degrees in dance go on to dance professionally.  This includes work in concert dance companies, cruise lines, commercials, music videos, and Broadway shows.  Other times, they will open their own dance schools and teach dance.

3)  What drew you to this field?

• I have been dancing since I was 4 years old.  I thought it was the most beautiful art form.  Not only are you working with the movement of the human body (which is possibly the arguably the most unique, complex, and sophisticated form on earth), you get to pair it with music.  The options are endless, which allows for maximum creativity.  And the bounds don't stop there, site-specific work, and even work in silence allow for incredible works.

• I get great satisfaction from dance.  However, what is great is that satisfaction is not easily achieved.  It can take weeks, months, or year, but the self-satisfaction is so worth it.

• It teaches you to strive for perfection, knowing that you'll never reach it.  (This is frustrating a lot of the time though).

4)  Name three of the leaders/most exciting people involved in this field right now in 2016. Why are they interesting or exciting to you? These could be individual people or specific companies, organizations, businesses or non-profits. Hyperlink us to a homepage professional website for each person, if possible.

• Misty Copeland--Not only has she pushed the body and race boundaries in dance, but she is also someone, who is primarily a ballerina, and she is working in a lot of commercial venues.

• Batsheva Dance Ensemble--  Their movement is different from most dance in that it works off of movement that is mostly based off of sensation and audible ques.  The movement quality by their Gaga Language is uninhibited and to me represents raw human nature.

• Netherlands Danse Theater--  This company is unique in that its repertoire features pieces that employ a hybrid contemporary/ballet technique.  Although presented in a theater, their pieces often use elaborate props that almost give it the appearance of performance art.  Their dancers appear animalistic and human all at once.

"Dance Magazine" via ebscomags.com. Public Domain

5)  What are the names of three leading academic/scholarly journals in your field? Where are they published? Give us the names and locations of at least 3.

• Dance Magazine-- Published in New York City. 

• Pointe Magazine-- Published in New York City.

• Dance Spirit-- Published in New York City.

My Interviewees on Social Media

Amazingly it was easier to find my 86 year old teacher on social media than it was my slightly over 60 year old teacher on social media.  You just never know folks.

1)  What are the names of each interviewee and which social media networks were you able to find each of them on?

 *** Please note that I am interviewing professors who are over 60.  They mostly like to communicate through email, snail mail, or phone calls.

• Michael-- No social media that I could find.
• Mr. C-- Facebook.

2)  How would you describe each interviewee's social media presence? What kinds of things are they talking about or sharing on social media? Write a brief description of what you learned about them through the listed social media feeds.

•  Mr. C rarely gets on Facebook (in fact he posted that he only gets on about once or twice a year), but when he does it is often to promote UA Dance or to post about dance events in general.

3)  Now return to the piece that this author published in the academic journal (from Blog Posts 6.2). How does their persona on social media differ from their persona in the pages of the academic journal? Be specific and cite details from both the journal and the social media posts you discovered.

• Well, I can't say their are a ton of similarities, since Mr. C is writing on Facebook and we are looking at his choreography in the so called "academic journal".  Most of his Facebook posts are casual and have some typos (in part due to his old age with shaking hands and poor eyesight), however, his dances are very polished and nuanced.  

idiomasrio "Untitled" via idiomasrio.com.br.  Public Domain

My Interviewees as Professional Writers

In this blog post I will further discuss both interviewees and the kinds of writing/communication they use in their respective fields.

1)  Give us the name of each interviewee and write a short summary of the kinds of professional publications they've authored (according to their website, CV and/or other easily findable online resources that list their publications). You don't need to include all the bibliographic information for their publications, just the basic facts.

• Mr. C--  He has written the book Looking at Dance. In terms of dance, Mr. C has created dances that have been shown both in Canada and the United States.
• Michael-- Although, he has not published any written publications, Michael has helped created the instructional video The Jazz Dance Class.  Michael has also created pieces/productions internationally, including Japan, Holland, and the Netherlands.

 
2)  Track down a few of their publications online. Be sure to examine at least two different publications by each interviewee (and hyperlink us to the two examples for each). What professional genres has each interviewee written in? Explain how these genres differ from each other, according to conventions, formatting, techniques, content, and anything else that seems relevant to describe.

• Below are two dance pieces by Michael. Both are very different styles of dance.  I decided to examine these since I could not find the instructional video.
• ITZaJAZZ Thing
•  Pucker Up

                      Here I am comparing two pieces of choreography.  The first difference is pretty           obvious: one is jazz number and one is a tap number.  In terms of content, each utilizes different dance moves and focuses on different parts of the body. ITZaJAZZ Thing zeros in on acute isolations, activation of the pelvis, and more subtle movements that give the piece a seductive jazz club feel. Pucker Up has incredibly is the opposite.  It flashes tricks and fancy footwork that dazzle the audience.  The jazz dance has the usual conventions: hip roles, isolations, jazz hands (oh yeah!).   The tap piece contains also, contains that of most tap dances: articulation of the feet to produce clear clean rhythms, and lighter fluid arms.  Both also use props (ie. the chairs, canes, poster), although this doesn't have to be used in these genres.

• Below are two genres by Mr. C.  I will be comparing two different pieces of choreography, since I do not have his book on hand to analyze.
• Con Spirito
• Carmina Burana 

                     Con Spirito is a pointe piece and therefore utilizes the common conventions of pointe work, partnering, and utilizes a corps de ballet as well as featured soloists.  Likewise, Carmina Burana is also a pointe piece; however, it is a pas de deux that features more contemporary partnering than Con Spirito does.  Both pieces present very different tones though.  Con Spirito is light and upbeat, with the dancers wearing pastel colored leotards and slicked back ponytails, and happy smiles.  Carmina Burana is opposite.  Between the music selected, the expansive movements of the partnering work, and the details of the head and eyes, the piece is incredibly dramatic.  The piece requires significantly more acting from the dancers in order for the piece to be carried out effectively.

3)  What is the context surrounding the two different pieces published by each of your interviewees? (See the bulleted questions on Student's Guide page 180 for specific questions about context). Cite specific details from the pieces in your answers.

• Michael
• ITZaJAZZ Thing---the piece was created in 2010-2011.  The piece reflects what a lot would call a "classic jazz piece."  The piece is delivered through a choreographed pieced and is filmed in a simple style as to simulate the actual performance. Trained in this style, it is possible that Michael wanted wanted to return to this.  The piece is showcased in a theater setting and utilizes props that further accentuate the classic jazz feel.
• Pucker Up---this piece was created in 2014.  This piece was also showcased in a theater.   I'm not particularly sure if there is an intended "message" of the piece, it is pretty light  with two female leads flirting with the lead male lead and him dancing with each one.  
• Mr. C
•  Con Spirito---The piece was choreographed in 2015.  Story line--to be frank I really don't know.  However, "con spirito" means "with spirit," so I believe that he was not focusing on a story line, but rather a general feeling emitted from the music itself.  Looking at past and more current works of his, this one is less story oriented, and I personally feel it is not as captivating to an audience, despite all the conventions being present for that particular genre.
• Carmina Burana--- This piece was created in 2011.  His piece is pretty similar to that of his other pieces in that it doesn't possess a distinct follow-able story line, but rather plays off the feeling given by the music. The ballet appears meant to be performed on a stage, which seems to make the pas de deux more intimate, and gives nothing that would distract the view like if you did a site-specific project.

4)  What is the overall message of each piece? How did you decide this? Cite specific details from the pieces in your answers.

• ITZaJAZZ Thing-- Well, I think that the overall "message" of this particular piece is to showcase the feel of classic jazz dance, since many seem to have forgotten about this style.  Specific details include: jazz hands, classic jazz walks, neck and hip isolations, a sense of sensuality without being raunchy (rare these days).

•  Pucker Up--There is no particular message for this piece.  It's feel sort of reflects the remix of song "Kiss" by Prince.  It seems to follow the message (you don't have to rich to be my girl, just be yourself) then of the song more than it creates its own message.

• Con Spirito--  There is no particular message to this at all.  The dance is kept pretty light, between music, dancing, and costumes, so I find that the message is more up to audience interpretation.

• Carmina Burana--  The piece appears to be about passionate love.  You have a pas de duex, and you have intimate partnering where faces are very close and places where the bodies almost appear to be intertwined.

5)  What purpose is each piece trying to achieve? Cite specific details from the pieces in your answers.

• ITZaJAZZ Thing's purpose could possibly be to bring back exposure to classic jazz dance.  However, for all these pieces I feel that the main purpose is to entertain and to simply bring the audience into a different work for a little while.

Suttonhoo "Untitled" via suttonhoo.blogspot.com. Public Domain

My Interview Subjects

Project 1 is complete.  Phew!

However, I have been instructed by my lovely D2L page that it is time to start yet another string of blog posts, for yet another project.  In this project, I will be interview faculty members in one of my areas of study, and how they communicate and use writing in their fields.
(Note: in the dance department we typically don't address our professors as formally as do other departments.  We go on a first name basis.)

1. The names of the two people you're scheduled to interview for Project 2
1.  James Clouser (Mr. C) and Michael Williams
2. The names of the organization(s) your interviewees work for, as well as their job titles
1.  Both of my interviewees work for the University of Arizona, specifically the School of Dance.  Both hold the title of "Dance Professor"; however, Michael focuses more on jazz dancer and Mr. C focuses more on ballet.
3. Any higher education degree that your interviewees hold and the names of the institutions that issued them.
1. Mr. C--- He holds both an MA and MFA degree from Eastman School of Music. He has been a dancer with American Ballet Theater and was a principal dancer with the Royal Winnipeg Ballet for 9 years.  He has studied at many prestigious dance institutions such as the Royal Ballet Schools of London and Copenhagen, as well as the Bolshoi and Kirov Schools in Russia. 
2.  Michael--- He received a Bachelors Degree in Music Education  Some of his earlier dance training began at the Gus Giordano Dance Center of Chicago.  He became a dancer in the Gus Giordano Company, touring worldwide, and eventually served as a Jazz teacher at the dance center.
4. How many years your interviewees have worked in the field professionally?
1. Michael has been working professionally in the world of dance for about 37 years.
2. Mr. C has been working in the world of dance for approximately 66 years.
5. If you can, provide photos or images of the two interviewees (identify them with captions), as well as hyperlinks to their professional website(s) or home page(s). 

Full bio for Mr. C can be located here.

"James Clouser" via corps-de-ballet.org. Public Domain









"Michael Williams" via regonline.com. public Domain

Full bio for Michael located here.

1. The date, time & location of your scheduled interview.
1. Interviews will be done early this upcoming week.  Exacts dates and times are being decided since we are in the midst of one of our performance weeks.
2. A list of 8 to 12 interview questions (for each interviewee) that are written to specifically reflect the interviewee's background, position and publication history.  (I am counting the bulleted sub-questions as questions as well).
1.  What led you to pursue a career in dance, especially after getting a degree in music?
2. What was the transition like from dancer to teacher/artistic director?
3. You've written a book the book Looking at Dance, what motivated you to write this?
• Was it primarily for teaching purposes at the University of Arizona School of Dance?
4. What was it like touring and dancing?
• Do you feel like this effected your effected the way the danced/choreographed?
5.  When you choreograph a piece, what are certain elements that you always try to apply in order for the piece to best connect with your audience?
• How do you balance gestural elements with textbook dance steps in order to a dance to be visually appealing? 
6.  Why did you choose to teach at the University of Arizona, after teaching/being a director at several other schools?

Brutal Honest Self-Assessment

Below are my thoughts on the project condensed.

1.  I feel pretty good about the work I have done, but in all honesty I have heard that our first projects get ripped to shreds, so my hopes are not sky high.  I feel like I have come a long way on the project though, and did better than I personally thought I would.
2. I feel like maybe I didn't elaborate enough on each individual character, but then again should I? This isn't their life stories.  I also feel as though my formatting might not been as creative as some of my other classmates.  I couldn't figure out how to put the GIFs I wanted into a Word document.  I came a long way for a technology illiterate person though.
3. Perhaps my best strength is how much I talked about each person's point of view.  I felt as though I did enough research to accurately communicate each of their views to the fullest.
4. I feel that I actually did do a pretty good job in terms of time management.  Their were a couple instances where I was rushed, but overall I feel I was pretty organized.

Allison, Lisa "Reflections" via flipboard.com Public Domain

PROJECT 1 (FINAL DRAFT)

Hi everyone!  Here is my final draft (eek!).  I'm praying it opens with the correct format.  Fingers crossed.

Ok...IT WORKED!  I am attaching an empty google drive file so that hopefully you guys can comment on that, since my file can't seem to be commented on.

"Untitled" 12/23/2015 via dialogtech.com. Public Domain

Local Revision: Variety

Let's talk about variety in this next blog post.

1. I think that my draft has one too many complex and compound complex sentences.  I will need to try to insert more simple sentences in order to keep the reader's attention.  It's not as if I don't apply them, there are just considerably fewer of them.  There are not too many instances of this, but in a couple places I start a lot with the same pronoun.  This can be easily altered.
2.  I would say that my paragraph structures are fairly varied.  They are different lengths and concentrate solely on one topic.  They are also situated to the left and the right of the paper, which is more visually appealing to reader.
3. My vocabulary is not a advanced as I feel it could be, but at the same time, I do not want it to be so advanced that it loses the interest of the reader.  I feel that it has enough variety and advancement to sound educated without losing the reader. 

"Untitled" via DHGate.com. Public Domain

Local Revision: Pronoun Usage

In this blog post I will reflect on the giant list of pronouns from the last post and determine whether I believe they are being effectively used or not.

1. After examining my pronoun usage, I feel pretty confident I have done a good job. I actually fixed a couple instances where the pronouns could omitted, and instead be replaced with something a little more direct, such as restating the name again.    However, I find that as long as the pronouns stay pretty consistent to their "specific person" in a section, it isn't bad to include them.  What gets messy is when you are jumping back and forth between two people who are using the same pronoun.  I'm not sure what this exactly says about my writing style. Perhaps I am organized with my pronouns?



Flen, Brian " Untitled" via mycatnames.com. Public Domain

2.   There are a couple instances where I have used the pronoun "we" to include both myself and the readers.  I use this in the sections that talk about evaluating each stakeholder.  I think it is strong because by including the audience, it makes them tune in and think more about what they are reading and what makes these stakeholders qualified.  In turn, it helps evaluate the article more for themselves.

My Pronouns

So, here are ALL MY PRONOUNS!  Get EXCITED!

Vann, Kelvon "Pronoun; Pronoun" via tes.com. Public Domain

his (Macaulay), everyone (the audience and Macaulay), her (Ringer), she (Ringer), her (Ringer), he (Macaulay), his (Macaulay), it (the pen), her (Ringer), most (dancers and non-dancers), their (the audiance, he (the reporter), he (Macaulay), He (Macaulay), their (dancers), he (Macaulay), He (Macaulay), his (Macaulay), it (Black Swan), its (Black Swan), she (Ringer), she (Ringer), her (Ringer), she(Ringer), She (Ringer), her (Ringer), she (Ringer), She (Ringer), Most (past and present dancers), their (dancers and non-dancers), their (dancers and non-dancers), Her (MsAvignon), They (others who agree with MsAvignon), This (commenter that sides with Macaulay), they (these commenters), he (Macaulay), he (Macaulay), he (Macaulay), his (Macaulay), he (Macaulay), he (Macaulay), he (Macaulay), she (Ringer), she (Ringer), she (Ringer), her (Ringer), we (readers and author), them (the story's audience), those (comments), he (Macaulay), these (commenters), he (Macaulay), he (Leonard Jacobs), their (actors), they (past and present dancers), they (past and present dancers), we (readers and author),  their (past and present dancers), this (the fact that they have had experience in the dance world), their (Macaulay and Ringer), her (Ringer).

Local Revision: Passive and Active Voice

And here are my verbs broken down AGAIN!

Active (Specific)
portray, ruffled, criticize, rushed, danced, mulled, buzzed, dimmed, draped, gripped, wooshed, blazed, rang, flew,  executes, skimming, scrutinized, igniting, sampled, interpreted, jumped, focused, claim, supported, display, distract, soften, released, focused, exaggerated, achieve, refused, expressed, complete, attempts, relating, implies, suffered, recovering, assess, considered, supporting, degrade, help, bias, divided, refuse.

Active (General)
spread, talked, wrote, brought, began, see, sat, found, make, began, stands, hits, watching, commented, looked, have, saw, considered, stands, receiving, wrote, saying, open, attempt, saying, wears, seen, tries, came, touched, go, takes, did, takes, need, agree, said, stated, asked, responded, writing, appear, seen, affects, knows, remember, works, commented, move remain.

Passive
considered, seen, upset.

Samwise the Greek " Untitled" 11/10/2010 via wordpress.com. Public Domain

1. I appear to have a pretty similar amount of active (specific) and active (general) verbs.  I should attempt to convert some verbs so that they are more specific. My draft doesn't have that many passive verbs (or at least I didn't see many), which is good.
2. I need to make more of general verbs specific verbs.  This seems like a fairly easy situation to remedy.  I just don't want to make them too specific and make it seem as though I am  exaggerating the characters actions or the overall situation.  

Local Revision: Tense Usage

Yay! Specific verbs! Sorry I could not get the column to work out.  I hope this formatting will suffice.  

Present Tense

has,  possessing, portray, has, brought, have, stands, executes, skimming, hits, watching, claim, receiving, attempts, distract, saying, wears, tries, objectify, saying, go, achieve, endures, fit, stirring, between, complete, has, begin, dancing, speak, made, made, is, peg, claims, talking, eating, have, comment, be, dancing, degraded, believe, say, communicating, upset, qualifies, implies, make, assume, recovering, assess, see, influences, commenting, jive, works, have, have, are, stand, refuse, faithful.

 Past Tense

 spread, talked, wrote, ruffled, began, rushed, danced, sat, mulled, buzzed, gripped, wooshed, blazed, rang, flew, scrutinized, commented, had, sampled, interpreted, saw, jumped, focused, considered,  confused, wrote, supported, said, wrote, seen, released, focused, touched, played, acted, made, refused, expressed, brought, suffered, removed, made, stated, asked, answered, humiliated, showed, moved, focused, echoed, agreed, questioned, believed, scrutinized, served, had, served, sparked, been, experienced, reflected, stated, criticized, agreed, divided.

 Future Tense

 change.

1. Past tense is the most prevalent verb tense in my draft.
2. The reader is less "in the action," and instead is forced to evaluate the consequences more.
3. I think my change of verb tense flows pretty well, although I am going to look over a couple transitions.  I felt that in some instances you needed present tense to grab the reader's attention more.
4.  I did employ present tense. I feel it captivates the reader, and helps put them into the action more.  This can help them feel more invested in the characters and/or the story.

bhatnaturally "untitled" 1/14/2014 via bhatnaturally.com. Public Domain.

My Verbs

Well, here are every-stinking-single one of my verbs, in all their glory.  I hope you enjoy?

Markham, Pete "Libby Hospice: Another Ice Cream Cone" 6/20/2010 via flickr. Public Domain

• has                
• spread
• possessing 
• portray 
• has
• talked
• wrote
• ruffled
• brought
• have
• criticize
• began
• rushed
• see
• danced
• sat
• mulled
• buzzed
• found
• dimmed
• draped
• gripped
• make
• wooshed (?)
• blazed
• began
• rang
• flew
• stands
• executes
• skimming
• scrutinized
• hits
• igniting
• watching
• commented
• looked
• have
• sampled
• interpreted 
• saw
• jumped
• focused
• is
• considered
• confused
• range
• dislike
• claim
• stands
• receiving
• wrote
• saying
• supported
• said
• wrote
• display
• open
• attempts
• distract
• soften
• saying
• wears
• seen
• tries
• saying
• came
• released
• focused
• exaggerated
• touched
• go
• achieve
• takes
• did
• made
• did
• need
• refused
• agree
• expressed
• said
• brought
• are
• complete
• made
• stated
• asked
• responded
• saying
• is
• has
• had
• writing
• is
• started
• attempts
• further
• relating
• states
• was
• was
• implies
• appear
• has
• seen
• have
• suffered
• affects
• dancing
• knows
• recovering 
• seeing
• assess
• is
• have
• remember
• are
• are
• have
• considered
• supporting
• assumed
• degrade
• help
• is 
• saying
• bias
• works
• has
• commented
• divided
• stand
• refuse
• move
• remain

brought: 2
began: 2
focused: 2
considered: 2
supporting: 2
did: 2
wrote: 3
stand(s): 3
are: 3
see/seen/seeing: 4
has: 5
have: 5
say/said/saying: 7

Local Revison: Wordiness

Saerilia "Untitled" 04/22/2011 via deviantart.com.  Attribution-Share Alike 3.0

Now, this is a difficult blog post because I have SO MANY wordy sections to choose from.  Keeping in mind that my project is a QRG, this probably isn't the best situation.  However, I have decided to focus on perhaps the wordiest of wordiest paragraphs in my essay soon to be QRG.  Take a look-a-roo below at my initial section. 

"The controversy began in New York City on a chilly November night as people rushed to the David H. Koch Theater in Lincoln Center to see the opening night of The Nutcracker, danced by the world-famous New York City Ballet. Inside the theater, among the eager ticket holders and soft, plush velvet seats, sat Alastair Macaulay, the chief dance critic for the New York Times. Wealthy patrons mulled about in the orchestra section, and the air was buzzing with conversation as everyone went to their seats. The lights dimmed and a hush draped over the audience. Macaulay's fingers gripped his smooth ball-point pen, ready to make notes. The expansive red curtains slowly wooshed open, the lights blazed on, and the ballet began.  Tchaikovsky's music rang through the air, and the dancers flew across the stage with the sort of grace and beauty that can only be achieved with hours of constant critiquing. Among the lights and costumes stands Jenifer Ringer in the prominent role of the Sugarplum Fairy.  In her light pink shimmering tutu, she confidently executes her steps, her pointe shoes flying across the stage.  And yet, Macaulay was still unimpressed. In fact, despite the masterful performance, he scrutinized the physical appearance of the elegant Ringer and her Cavalier Jared Angle. His pen flew across the page, but what it had to say was anything but a positive review."

 Now the new and improved, slightly less wordy introduction...

"The controversy began in New York City on a November night as people rushed to the David H. Koch Theater in Lincoln Center to see the opening night of The Nutcracker, danced by the New York City Ballet. In the theater, among the eager ticket holders and soft, plush velvet seats, sat Alastair Macaulay, the chief dance critic for the New York Times. Wealthy patrons mulled about, and the air buzzed with conversation as everyone found their seats. The lights dimmed and a hush draped over the audience. Macaulay gripped his ball-point pen, ready to make notes. The expansive red curtains wooshed open, the lights blazed on, and the ballet began.  Tchaikovsky's music rang through the air, and the dancers flew across the stage. Among the lights and costumes stands Jenifer Ringer as the Sugarplum Fairy.  In her light pink shimmering tutu, she confidently executes her steps, her pointe shoes skimming across the stage.  And yet, Macaulay was still unimpressed. Despite the masterful performance, he scrutinized the physical appearance of the elegant Ringer and her Cavalier Jared Angle. His pen hits the page, but what it had to say was anything but a positive review."

Trying to look at it from an audience perspective, I believe I deleted a lot of details that are nice, but not pertinent in getting the point across to the reader.  There were also phrases that could easily be condensed down to one or two words, or removed entirely.   It is still a little to big, but I'm wondering if I could break it up a little more by inserting a graphical element.  Overall, I believe that is more concise for the reader.

Peer Review 2

After reading the review of my QRG draft, as well the drafts of James Fusaro (rubric) and Ben Macklin (rubric) I have an idea of what I want to improve on in my final draft.  Here is my game plan.

1) Quite honestly, I learned how much organization and cleanliness of formatting paragraphs and pictures can alter a readers interest in the story.  Both the essay and the QRG I read showed me this. One was very organized and captured my attention immediately and the other one, while still informational, just didn't hold my attention that much.

2)  My top three objectives for the editing process are condensing my information into smaller paragraphs in order to keep reader interest.  At the advice of one of my reviewers, I am going to adjust my subtitles.  This means possibly using a larger font or perhaps centering them, if possible.  I also want to try to incorporate more images into my QRG and get my quotes and hyperlinks to flow easily into my sentences.  This is going to take some rearranging within the paragraphs, but shouldn't be too difficult.

3)  I think I have a very solid base in terms of information collected.  This will aid me in whatever I decide to do with my QRG.  Right now, I just need to organize this information within the paragraphs better.  They are a little too jumbled.  I think I have also inserted quite a bit of my own voice into the project.  I tried to keep it a little lighter, as this tends to be my personality.  I also believe that I have represented each side pretty darn well.  Perhaps I can bring my third stakeholder (the audience) in a little more.  I'm not sure if I like their views peppered throughout the paper or not.

Renee "Little Man Crazy Face" 01/12/2006 flickr.  Public Domain

Peer Review 1

I reviewed Nicolas Herard.  Here is the rough draft.  It is typed into the blog post, so that is where the link should take you.  And, in addition,  here is the rubric and my scores and comments for him.

2 Mistakes

Rudiak-Gould, Ben "Cow Lying on Side" 07/05/2008 via Wikipedia. Public Domain.

• I wish that he would have elaborated a little more on the effects of the stem cell mixing.  We hear about the side of animal rights activists, but we don't hear that much about the reasons scientists want to continue these projects.
• I think there should also be more of a conclusion to ease readers into the last closing questions that are asked.  Although these are a good way to end, I think there has to be a little something that precedes them in order to "wind- down" the podcast.

2 Good Choices

• I really like the ending questions.  It makes the audience think a little more rather than just passively listening or reading the story.  I'd like to see if I can incorporate this into my QRG as well.
• Although it's kind of general,  I like how the he structured the essay where we learn everything about the subject in the beginning, and then all the opinions came at the end, instead of the information gradually being given to you and hearing about opinions along the way.  I personally need to develop a better and more organized structure for my QRG.

Draft of Project 1

Hi all!

Here is my rough (very rough) draft of Project 1.  Right now, I feel like I just have a lot of information on paper, since I have been a little rushed this week.  I plan on doing more of the formatting this week in the editing stage.  I would really love, if you could give me any more suggestions on information that is not clear enough, or if perhaps I need to rearrange things in a way that the reader can more easily follow.  I intend on doing a QRG, so organization is key!

The link to my draft is here.

Thank you so much in advance for your input!

Michaela Harrington

OpenClipArtVectors "No Title" 10/03/2013 via Pixabay. Public Domain

My Sources

I have compiled a pretty good number of sources for my story.  Although I believe the information I found on my controversy is very comprehensive, I feel like some of them have a lot of the same information but with little extra details. Some are secondary information, while some come from primary resources.
**Note the source names are the hyperlinks.

Source 1
Where: Web source.  It comes from the online magazine "The Clyde Fitch Report," an online cross disciplinary arts magazine that specifically covers stories on theater, dance, art, etc.  This might cause it to defend the performers in the arts more than the arts critics.

Who: Lenard Jacobs.  He is the former national editor of Back Stage, which is trade publication for American actors, and is the founding editor of Theatermania.com.  He received his education from Hunter college, and is an adjunct professor at Baruch College.  Although, his Facebook account projects him as a fairly strong Democrat, I am unsure how this could potentially make his bias to this story.
When: Publish the article on Dec. 5, 2010.  At this time Black Swan was out in theaters, and audience members were being shown the "dark side" of ballet including eating disorders and distorted body images.
My source offers an incredibly bias point of view.   In fact, he structures his article as a hypothetical story which included calling Macaulay an asshole.  He definitely sides more with the public in the fact that he believes that critics should not be commenting on the dancers' appearance.  He also gets most of his information from Jennifer Edwards, which makes us question his specific knowledge on the topic.

Source 2
Where:  Web source.  It comes from the Huffington Post.  This paper is very established and is usually very respected.  However, this is a blog post within the Huffington Post.  Therefore, we must assume that it might be slightly less credible than something that is an actual column in the Huffington Post.
Who:  The author's name is Jennifer Edwards.  She is a visiting artist at Point Park University, and also works as a writer, choreographer, and communication consultant.  She has worked as a coordinator for many multi-media and spoken-word productions.  From this, we can tell that she is pretty invested in the arts world, and we can assume that she is a fairly credible source, despite it being a blog post.
When: Published on Dec. 2, 2010.  Once again, the Black Swan movie along with the body appreciation growing probably helped shape her opinion.
What this particular post has to offer is the opinion of someone involved in the dance world (including dancers), and someone who has drawn from multiple different  sources.  She has interviewed another dancer writer on the situation and has drown from interviews that others have done.  Although the article is more partial to Ringer and the public, I would still consider this a fairly credible source.

Source 3
Where: Web source. It comes from Elle Magazine.  This site could be a little questionable, since it is primarily a style and fashion magazine.
Who: Kristen Mascia is the author.  From her LinkedIn profile, I found she is a self-employed/freelance writer and studied at Georgetown University.  She has written for a number of other popular magazines such as People, and Good Housekeeping. She's probably had quite a bit of experience dealing with people, so we can assume that she would probably ask good questions.
When: Feb. 12, 2011.  The contoversy over Black Swan had probably died down by this point.  However, the body image crisis was still in full swing.  As a magazine dealing with fashion and body exposure, this could have possibly made the interviewer's questions bias.
This post though gave more in depth knowledge than I thought it would though.  Because it was an interview conducted with  just Ringer, we were albe to find out specific first-person information on her and the event leading up to the incident, as well has how she handled the situation.

Source 4
Where: Web source.  The source is the Mass Live.  I couldn't find out too much about whether this sight was reputable or not, but they seem to have reporters who updated as frequently as possible on national happenings.
Who: It was written by "The Associated Press".  This is an independent non-profit news gathering agency.  Because it is not owned by the government or id independently owned, we can assume that the bias is pretty low.
When: Dec. 13, 2010.  Controversy over Black Swan was still stirring at this time, which would probably make the writer a little more bias towards the dancer.
The article offers a pretty comprehensive overview of each side, both Macaulay's and Ringer's.  However, all of their information is gathered through all the other news media.  There is no first hand information here.  That doesn't necessarily make it any less credible, as long as they chose from credible sources.

Source 5
Where: Web source.  The source is Today News.  Because this is a morning news show, they often need an entertainment value factor for their news stories.  This might not effect the credibility, but more the value of the information.
Who: John Springer (interview conducted by Anne Curry).  John Springer is a TODAY contributer.  Springer used to be an actor.  This doesn't necessarily affect his credibility, but since he was in the performing arts, he could be bias towards Ringer.
When: Dec. 13, 2010.  Once again, we have the body image movement going on as well as the issues and stresses of dance brought up in the movie Black Swan.  In terms, of entertainment value this is very high. Almost everyone now wants to side with the dancer.  Also, it connects well with audience members.
The article offers valuable information in that it is an in-person interview and it is being broadcast.  This means it appeals to the audiences eyes and hears.  Unlike pure text with pictures, we get to see and hear directly from Ringer.  We see her collar bones stick out and her soft, yet confident and assured, voice.  It definitely represents Ringer's side though since she is the one being interviewed.

Source 6
Where: Web source.  The source is the New York Times.  This paper is very well established and usually give reliable information.  The lean slightly more left, but I am unsure of how this would affect my particular controversy.
Who: Alastair Macaulay.  He is the chief dance critic of the New York Times and has been writing arts reviews for over 30 years.  He is a member of Baruch College, and is from Britain.  He is not present on any social media that I can find.  As far as I can tell he is very credible in his field. He has been known in the past to comment on performers' body weights.
When: Nov. 28, 2010.  Black Swan had not been released yet, so there was nothing to cloud his judgment.  However, the body-appreciation movement was still present.  Although, this did not seem to affect his review.  In fact it went completely against the movement's  message.
This article is very relevant to my story because it is what caused the controversy in the first place.  It also offers Macaulay's raw opinion before anyone could sway it.  This obviously represents Macaulay because he wrote the article.

Source 7
Where: Web source.  The source is the New York Times.  This paper is very well established and usually give reliable information.  The lean slightly more left, but I am unsure of how this would affect my particular controversy.
Who: Alastair Macaulay.  He is the chief dance critic of the New York Times and has been writing arts reviews for over 30 years.  He is a member of Baruch College, and is from Britain.  He is not present on any social media that I can find.  As far as I can tell he is very credible in his field. He has been known in the past to comment on performers' body weights.
When: Dec. 3, 2010.  Black Swan had just been released yet, and with much anticipation for the movie, audiences were rushing to see the horror film in theaters.  The body-appreciation movement was still present. Because this article is backing his opinion on his intital review, you would think that perhaps the out roar from the public would have swayed his initial decision, but instead he supported his decision with even more force than before.
This article is very relevant to my story because it showed how invested Macaulay is in his decision.  It reveals how important it is for a critic to be  a critic, and not someone who panders to an audience.

Source 8
Where: Web source.  The source is Pointe Magazine.  This is a very well establish dance magazine that primarily focuses on the happening in the ballet world.  This definitely leans it more towards Ringer, seeing how she is a principal dancer and dancers can usually relate more to other dancers than they do to dance critics.
Who: Kate Lydon.  She is an alumna of both American BAllet Theater and San Francisco Ballet.  She has extensive work teaching dance and training dance teachers and currently is the editor for Pointe Magazine, Dance Spirit, and Dance Teacher Magazine.  Although it seems she has no former schooling, she is well versed in the world of dance, and has had great success in editing some of the dance worlds biggest magazines. I would say she is credible and reliable.  Although, slightly swayed by the dancer point of view.
When: Nov. 16, 2011.  I could not find any new controversies during that particular time that would have particularly swayed or affect this article.
This source offers valuable information in the fact that it specifically interviews Macaulay.  I could not find any interviews with him that touched on this subject in particular, so this was a very valuable resource.  This doesn't necessarily represent either stakeholder, it is more informational than opinionated.

Source 9
Where: Web source.  This source comes from the video site Vimeo.  This could potentially affect the credibility, since anyone can post almost anything.  However, the video is of an old NBC interview with a young 15 year old Jenifer Ringer, so we can assume there is some credibility.
Who:  The woman who posted the video is Susan Farkas.  She is an international broadcast executive and journalist for Farkas Media.  She has also helped produce and direct documentaries, featured segments, and other video.  The interviewer is  Connie Chung.  She has been a TV anchor and reporter for major networks such as NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and MSNBC.  She was removed as a NBC news anchor after an apparently combative interview with a firefighter at the scene of the Oklahoma City bombing.  This seems fairly credible.
When:  The video was posted three years ago, but I was not able to find the date the story actually aired.  Although considering she was 40 when retiring in 2014 and the story of her was taped when she was 15, I would venture to guess it aired around 1989.  There isn't really much to affect or make the video bias.  Although, there was a great turnover in the company in 1989, so there was probably a lot of competition in the upper division of the school to see who might be able to garner an apprenticeship or possibly corps position.
This source is something that I believe gives us a little more background on Jenifer Ringer in the fact that it is her completely not affected by Macaulay. It shows her rigor and drive, and gives the audience more of an idea of the ideals and work that go into ballet.  It is a visual and audible stimulus, which many readers enjoy. It is also ironic, becuase it shows Jenifer ringer and people saying how "perfect" her body is proportioned for ballet.


Source 10
Where: Web source.  The source comes from the site Jezebel.  Jezebel is known to cater heavily to feminists.  This would probably be considered a source that is more biased.
Who: Margaret Hartmann is the author.  She is the senior editor at New York Magazine and received her education at Boston University.  If she is writing for Jezebel, we must assume that she shares their feminist views as well.
When: Nov. 29, 2010.  Once again, Black Swan had not aired yet, but the accepting others' bodies and appreciating self-image was still in full swing.  Since this movement is usually tied to women, the author and the commenters below, are most likely biased and see the story through a specific lens.
This article is pertinent to my controversy, as it shows a very prominent opinion from the public.  This article's commenters actually contain ones that agree with Macaulay in some ways.  This was surprising to me given the kind of magazine and the readers it usually attracts.  It lead to a great controversy in the comments section that mirror the debate about what is "normal thin" and "what is dancer thin."

Shertzer, Fanny. "Chenxin Liu - Don Quichotte, Kitri" 03/02/2011 via Wikipedia. Public Domain