Friday, May 6, 2016

Editorial Report 15a

Here is a comparison of part of my rough draft and part of my refined draft.

ROUGH DRAFT
"Once the interviews were concluded it was time for the production phase.  There was an immense amount of trial and error involved at first.  Cutting videos the way I wanted to was difficult.  My interviews were both at least an hour long, so I had to pare the interviews down to exactly what I wanted in the video essay, while still making them transition well from one clip to the next.  I am someone who wants to perfect projects, and this was a little difficult for me because often times the video would not splice the way I wanted it to, and I had to toy around with many other effects to compensate.  The major test of the project, and frankly my sanity, came when my rough draft of my video failed to download from iMovie.  I am certain that over the course three days I spent at least eight hours in an attempt to upload that video.  I was eventually told by the IT department that there must be a corrupt video clip within the movie causing the issue, and that I would have to endure a lengthy systematic process in order to identify the what was wrong. I felt hopeless.  I had no time go through that process, as I still had more work to do on the project itself.  How could I complete the project adequately and still have time to figure out my downloading issues?   After spilling my fruitless technology efforts to Professor Bottai,  I was given a short time extension and was able to present my project to him in person to still earn credit for the project I created.  I could not have been more thankful or relived.  However, despite these roadblocks, I made small progressions along the way, such as learning the art of voiceover.  I became pretty excited about my newfound knowledge of that and quickly phoned my mom to let her know how proud I was with myself."

REVISED DRAFT

"There was an immense amount of trial and error involved at first.  Cutting videos the way I wanted to was difficult.  My interviews were both at least an hour long, so I had to pare the interviews down to exactly what I wanted in the video essay, while still making them transition well from one clip to the next.  I am someone who wants to perfect projects, and this was a little difficult for me because often times the video would not splice the way I wanted it to, and I had to toy around with many other effects to compensate.  The major test of the project, and frankly my sanity, came when my rough draft of my video failed to download from iMovie.  I am certain that over the course three days I spent at least eight hours in an attempt to upload that video.  I was eventually told by the IT department that there must be a corrupt video clip within the movie causing the issue, and that I would have to endure a lengthy systematic process in order to identify what was wrong. I felt hopeless.  I had no time go through that process, as I still had more work to do on the project itself.  I did not know how I would be able to complete the project adequately and still have time to figure out my downloading issues.   After spilling my fruitless technology efforts to Professor Bottai, I was given a short time extension and was able to present my project to him in person to still earn credit for what I created.  I could not have been more thankful or relived.  However, despite these technology roadblocks, I made small progressions along the way, such as learning the art of voiceover.  After figuring out how to record my voice over ongoing video, I became pretty excited about my newfound knowledge and quickly phoned my mom to let her know how proud I was with myself.  I also gained basic knowledge of iMovie and how to assemble and edit audio and video to create a well put together video essay that is engaging. This could become useful in the future for other presentations in college or perhaps in my career."

  1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
    •  There was one sentence that I originally situated as a rhetorical question; however, I decided to change this, since it sounded a little stronger to use it as a declarative sentence.
    • At the end, I added a little more of what I learned from the project rather than just voiceover.  It wraps up the paragraph better and offers a better conclusion to my time working on that particular project.

  2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
    •  It's hard to identify just from the paragraphs above, but in the final draft I don't inlcude the same first sentence.  That because in this draft I cut the paragraph differently. Before the paragraph was huge and had too many ideas in one.  I broke it up in order for it to be more reader friendly to the eye. 

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