Editorial Post 15b

Here is yet another section of my essay that I have revised.  Ve a mi papel.

ROUGH DRAFT

"This course, despite some frustrating moments where I wanted to smash my computer to smithereens and rip out my hair, actually helped me in the long run.  Although I did not necessarily feel that my writing ability increased or decreased, I saw my technological skills increase by being forced to work within these writing genres.  Blogs aside, I also know better what writing approaches work best for me, and how to structure my time for demanding projects, so that I work more efficiently.  So in hindsight, maybe it was meant to be that this was the only English 109H course that fit into my schedule."

FINAL DRAFT

"My friends talked about this class as if it would slowly kill me, so I am happy to say I survived with my mind still intact.  In fact, this course, despite some frustrating moments where I wanted to smash my computer to smithereens and rip out my hair, actually helped me in the long run.  Although I do not necessarily feel that my writing ability increased or decreased, I saw my technological skills improve by being forced to work within these writing genres.  I also know better what writing approaches work best for me, and how to structure my time for demanding projects, so that I work more efficiently. So, in hindsight, maybe it was meant to be that this was the only English 109H course that fit into my schedule."

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
   •  I decided to bring back he point of my friends telling me not to take the class, as it sort of brings the whole essay full circle.
   • I changed "increase" to "improve" as that more accurately describes the course my technology skills took. 
   • I also took out the part that says "blogs aside," it wasn't pertinent to the content in the conclusion.
   
   
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
   • Similar to the above, by adding the sentence about my friends, I believe that I have created a better conclusion and circled from the intro to the conclusion.   I believe that is is a form of a college essay. 
   • In terms of the form of the paragraph not too much changed. 
   • Side note: All the paragraphs are indented, it just didn't happen when I put it onto Bogger.